Why intimacy isn’t increasing despite everything you’re trying.
After thousands of client hours in the area of intimacy and attraction I have seen one common theme in every single relationship. No-one knows the ingredients for what truly makes intimacy happen.
Where most people think they have mismatched libido, broken chemistry, or that they are unwanted by their partner, what they are missing is even more simple.
Education and skills. Real-world practical help on what creates deep intimacy and what keeps it alive when the honeymoon period wears off (because it does).
Without a true understanding of what makes intimacy work, there are no actions that can achieve it. You will continue to try things that haven’t worked and form unhelpful beliefs about what is possible in the relationship.
To have deeper intimacy, fulfilling conversations and more connected sex you have to master the basic elements of connection, desire and attraction.
Here is how intimacy issues usually show up:
- One person appears to value sex more than the other
- There is stress from work or life that creates a barrier to connection
- You can’t get the timing of your desire to align
- One person wants to have conversations the other person doesn’t appear to be capable of
- Someone is unfulfilled by the sex and no longer responds to initiation
- There is some kind of resentment blocking connection
- Someone is upset that touch has a sex expectation and blocks touch altogether
- It’s been so long that you don’t know how to find your way back to each other
Without a fresh approach to intimacy, it can be hard to change the course of your relationship.
When the honeymoon phase wears off, fear and disappointment can arise. You can think the chemistry is broken when it isn’t. Erotic understanding gives you the tools to create it whenever you like.
Fearful conversations make you hide your needs in case you lose the relationship or hurt the other. Demanding conversations often push the other way. Connected conversation helps you communicate your true desires with vulnerability and care.
You can wonder if you need to leave the relationship or put up with low intimacy forever. The right tools help you re-design what intimacy looks like and breaks through the walls each of you have in creating it.
Deep intimacy skills create a relationship you’ve never had before.
You don’t need an old version back. You need an intimacy experience that matches who you are now.
The truth is our intimacy is always changing. We’re always growing, and we want to express ourselves through love and sex. We all want the deepest version of love possible. We want to communicate deeply, feel seen and heard and live a life full of magnetic attraction and desire. We want to want and we want to be wanted.
I’m here to help you make that happen.
I show you exactly how to create intimacy, express it and grow it in a way that is uniquely you.
Then you can finally communicate with confidence, have more spontaneity both in and out of the bedroom, and feel the deepest connection possible.
Intimacy is something you can create in minutes, I will show you how.
Introducing Deepen Intimacy
A powerful intimacy immersion to re-design your intimacy story, connect more deeply and create the chemistry you desire each and every day.
Over 12 weeks you will:
01
Understand your intimacy patterns and the barriers to connection
02
Communicate in safe ways that lead to understanding and actual change
03
Learn actual skills you can implement to feel closer in conversation and in your hearts
04
Learn to create erotic chemistry in new ways and bring playfulness into your lives (not just in the bedroom).
05
Learn strategies to go from busy go mode into a relaxed place where intimacy is possible.
Intimacy is presence. The ability to be present, and to be present with what we find. And then that presence, gently dances.
Inside Deepen Intimacy we work with the Intimacy Pillars so you can create the depth and connection you desire
To build more intimacy, we have to understand what gets in the way. We will simultaneously remove barriers while we work on increasing connection so you can:
• Develop communication skills needed for comfortable conversation.
• Clear past experiences that make connection difficult.
• Remove the impact of day-to-day life on your sex life.
• Work through other relationship or personal issues that impact closeness and connection.
Deep connection happens in safety and through the heart. Even wild abandon. The first step is to re-connect in ways that give the other the felt sense of safety, curiosity and approachability. This will allow you to:
• Know the other has your best interests at heart and feel their love.
• Connect through your bodies and feel each other more deeply.
• Read each other’s signals and give signals in ways that can be received.
• Help each other explore doorways into intimacy, learning how to lead and how to follow.
Meaningful conversation is very intimate. It’s full of truth, desire, hope and fear. There is an art to this that takes safety and curiosity. You can become masterful at vulnerable conversation that:
• Removes the shame, fear, defensiveness or withdrawal that can sometimes arise.
• Expresses desires without criticism or the other perceiving they are at fault.
• Shares the truth of what you are wanting that goes way deeper than just physical connection.
Intimate connection is different than being great life partners. Many of the things that make you great together don’t always create chemistry or sexual proficiency. Once you understand how to create it and what blocks it, you can turn it on whenever you want. You can:
• Go from work-mode into satisfying sex
create the spark whether you’re together or apart.
• Help each other bridge the gap from shut down to turn on.
• Explore new and fun ways to bring erotic intimacy into the bedroom and your everyday life.
This is where we turn the keys to intimacy into a life where it’s easily available right under the surface. Where days can have a playful simmering, where you have more incidental intimacy that doesn’t have to led to sex, and where you feel wanted and loved by each other in new ways all the time. You never question whether you are wanted because intimacy is always there.
Intimacy is a way of life, not an act we do. It is a flavour inside our relationships, and a quality of depth and meaning.
Meet your therapist
I’m Kelly Anne Mitchell, a passionate, highly experienced relationship therapist.
After 20 years of working with clients, I’ve learned that intimacy is at the heart of everything we do. We want to be seen, known and felt. We want to be understood. We want depth, devotion and playfulness. We want the truth. When any of this fails, suffering begins.
I created this program to reshape how you approach intimacy. I want you to know what intimate living truly feels like. Not just to have better bedroom pleasure, but to know who you really are and express that on every level with the person you love.
I will meet you where you’re at, respect you both equally and give you the best of my experience in service to the relationship outcome you desire.
FAQ's
It depends. Intimacy skills and sex skills aren’t the same thing. Intimacy is made up of communication, vulnerability, truth telling, connection strategies and learning new attraction methods. Sex skills are needed when there is a lack of education about arousal patterns or needs, or a functional concern preventing intimacy in the relationship. This is not a sexology program focused solely on perceived sexual dysfunction on a mechanical level. Please feel free to reach out to Kelly with questions.
This is a mixture of talk-based processes and body based techniques. Sessions may include talk-therapy so we know how to connect, communicate and share through the heart. You will also be guided with body-based practices and intimacy assignments to strengthen your bond. It’s deep and fun all at once.
Kelly is a highly experienced online therapist with international clientele, so all programs are held via Zoom unless special arrangements are made. Kelly is based on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia. Clients in this region may reach out for in-person options. Kelly also offers intensive 3–5-day immersions in many locations if you would like a deep-dive retreat to kick-start the process. Different fee structures apply for in person multi-day immersions.
Yes. There is now published research outlining the effectiveness of online counselling.
Kelly has been offering online therapy to international and remote clients since 2008.
She has extensive online skills and is able to create a therapeutic environment exactly as you would experience in the room.
Almost 100% of her clients choose online options because it suits their lifestyle and location.
Hourly services aren’t offered for the Deepen Intimacy immersion as Kelly can only take a limited number of couples at a time. She is committed and available to them fully and to the best outcome. The immersion program provides the best experience for this. Hourly services may be utilised for additional sessions inside an immersion. You can book a free-short call or send an email if you’d like to learn more. Some couples purchase an initial consultation to go through their situation, then we deduct this fee from your therapy program if you go ahead. Pre-existing clients may apply for hourly sessions when needed.
Yes. Kelly will do her best to accommodate your timing and work schedule in Australia. For international clients, Europeans usually have appointments in their morning, while American and similar regions usually fall in their afternoons and evenings. Please check your timezone against Brisbane, Australia.
Kelly has a Master of Counselling with additional post-graduate qualifications in sex, intimacy and relationship therapy. She has worked with clients in a health capacity for over 20 years with time as a respected university lecturer in health sciences. You can read more about Kelly on the About page if you’d like more information.
After 25 years and probably 20,000 hours, the truth is – I’ve learned to do what works for the person. Not everything we learn as a therapist comes from a model or a system.
However, I am most aligned with and use skills from Somatic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Movement, Embodiment Therapy, and from time to time, I look to the Gottman Method for evidence-based information.
I use my health science background to bring in nervous system education and the broader way relational stress manifests in the body.
Philosophically, my approach is heavily influenced by the teachings and subsequent realisations of the essence of nonduality. Aspects of my embodiment and somatic movement work have been shaped by education and mentoring from Michaela Boehm and Steve James.
Medicare rebates can only be provided by certain Psychologists working inside that model of health. Couples therapy is not covered by Medicare for any practitioners regardless of their qualifications. You may be able to receive a rebate from your private health fund for counselling. Please check with them before enrolling if you plan to use this option, it is not something Kelly has control over.
Have other questions?
Send Kelly a message with anything you’d like to know, or to get the process started.
If you’re ready to deepen your connection, create more chemistry, and bring new elements of intimacy to your everyday life join me for Deepen Intimacy.
Your program includes in depth sessions, practical activities and intimacy skill building to completely re-shape your relationship. You receive expert guidance during the sessions and home activities to increase your intimacy throughout the entire journey.
We work in three phases:
01
Phase 1
Contact Kelly to discuss your needs. Book 1 x 60 minute couples session.
02
Phase 2
2 x 60 minute individual sessions
(one for each person).
1 x 60 minute couples session.
Resources and home activities.
03
Phase 3
6 x 60 minute couples sessions.
Resources and home activities.
Investment
Phase 1 is AU$315. From here you can discuss the sessions needed with Kelly.
If you engage with the most common program, the investment equates to the following, with payment plans available.
- One upfront payment: $3995
- Two monthly payments: $1995
- Three monthly payments: $1335
Please note: Therapy occurs at different intervals across the 12 weeks. The monthly payment structure is a courtesy for those needing longer to pay but requires full commitment as a larger portion of the therapy is provided upfront. A small administration fee is charged for payment plans, it is built into the price automatically.