Are you struggling to recover from betrayal and aren't sure how to rebuild trust?
It's nearly impossible to repair betrayal by yourself, even when you've done your very best.
After many years of working in relationship therapy I’ve learned that couples often start at the wrong place and use strategies that don’t ultimately work.
Without knowing the real things to talk about and when, couples spend a long time re-hashing the same information with both people feeling frustrated on how to move forward.
Where most people think they have a trust or communication problem, or that they’ll never get past the post-traumatic stress, there is one deep issue that is at the core. Understanding.
Without a clear way to talk about what happened, why it happened and the impact of it happening – we get caught in arguments and feelings of abandonment or shame, with no clear way of moving into an optimistic future (even if we want to).
To repair the damage of infidelity you have to master the art of healing conversations while you work with active triggers and pain.
The recovery process has some common barriers:
- It takes more time than you want. Trying to reduce the pain quickly leads to unhelpful strategies that result in everyone feeling more distress.
- The post-traumatic stress leads to compulsive behaviours. The betrayed partner engages in constant checking and repetitive conversations, the other partner doesn’t know how to handle this.
- The relationship becomes about control. A growing list of rules is created in order to create safety that just doesn’t come.
- There is an endless focus on why. The betrayed partner will get emotionally stuck on trying to understand why it happened, and no amount of explanation will justify it for them.
- You don’t know if you will ever get the trust back. One person wants to trust, the other wants to be trusted and neither of you know what's possible.
- The betrayed person judges themselves for staying. There is a stigma attached to infidelity that makes the betrayed feel shame for wanting to make it work.
- There are conflicting goals. One person wants to heal the acute damage of the betrayal and the other wants to work on other relationship issues, creating an impasse.
What counts as betrayal or infidelity in relation to this program?
Ultimately, only a couple can decide what counts as betrayal for them. However, if you have decided a relationship-threatening betrayal has occurred it typically falls into a number of categories - and this program assists with all situations.
Intimate
Betrayal
Where one partner engages in physical intimacy with another person outside of the relationship agreements.
Emotional Betrayal
Where one partner has developed an emotional bond with another person, and it is now affecting the primary relationship.
Pornography
Betrayal
When one partner is discovered viewing content or interacting with services that are outside the relationship agreements.
Financial
Betrayal
When the financial behaviours of one partner move outside relationship agreements, causing trauma and disconnection.
This 12 week intensive guides you through a specialised process to connect, understand, rebuild trust and create hope (if desired) for the future.
Here's what you'll experience
We use Kelly's six pillars of infidelity repair so you can start moving forward.
01
Safety
Both of you are probably scared. We learn how to create the safety needed to explore what has happened so you can trust in the process and each other.
02
Communication
Talking about what happened is painful. You’ll learn to communicate lovingly and productively so that everyone is seen and heard clearly.
03
Connection
Staying connected can feel difficult when trust is broken. You’ll learn how to stay connected in your hearts even when you’re scared or angry.
04
Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy changes after infidelity. We navigate how to be close and how to give space and what is needed to repair intimacy.
05
Relationship Healing
Deep exploration and healing for each person leads to the creation of a brand new relationship with a bond that can be stronger than before.
06
Strategies
You’ll learn the exact ways to communicate, move through fear, and fix what has broken to rebuild the trust from the ground up.
Who is this program for?
- This work is for couples or individuals who need support, including:
- Couples managing the acute phase of betrayal discovery and the confusion and trauma that happens as a result.
- Couples deciding if the betrayal means the end of the relationship or not.
- Couples who experienced betrayal a while ago but haven't built skills for repair or have lingering issues.
- Couples who need help understanding why the betrayal happened and what repair could look like.
- When there is ambivalence in the repair process - where one person isn't doing the repair work and you need a therapist to help assess the situation.
- Individuals who want to work with an experienced therapist who can explore this, explain the mechanics and help you heal, or decide to leave/stay if that is your desire.
Meet your therapist
I’m Kelly Anne Mitchell, a passionate, highly experienced relationship therapist.
After 20 years of working with clients, as strange as this might sound – I’ve learned that betrayal can be a doorway to somewhere unexptected. While no-one wants it to be this way, if you can get through this – you’ll learn exactly what you need to make a relationship work.
I created this program to take you there. Each year I commit hundreds of hours to couples on this exact journey. I am often the last resort, or the place people come when other therapy hasn’t worked. Other practitioners refer to me for this speciality and I work with every level of client, from ultra-famous to blue collar.
I will meet you where you’re at, respect you both equally and give you the best of my experience in service to the relationship outcome you desire.
Kelly’S WORK HAS BEEN FEATURED IN:
Locations
You can work with Kelly on the Sunshine Coast, or request an online program from where ever you are.
Buderim, Sunshine Coast
Primrose Wellness Hub
Shop 9/61 Burnett St, Buderim.
Noosa, Sunshine Coast
Noosa Health and Wellness Collective
12a/2 Quamby Pl, Noosa Heads.
Online, Everywhere
Attend from anywhere. Kelly accepts national and international clients.
The Infidelity Repair immersion follows a process for best results.
Your program includes in depth sessions, practical activities and trust building processes to create a new foundation of safety and connection. You receive expert guidance during the sessions with home activities to support healing throughout the entire journey.
We work in three phases:
01
Phase 1
Discovery and roadmap
1 x 90 minute couples session to explore your situation, create a roadmap for the therapy process and begin your repair strategies.
02
Phase 2
Relationship assessment
Deep exploration of what happened and what is needed to progress.
1 x 50 minute session each.
1 x 50 minute couples session.
03
Phase 3
In-depth therapy.
8 x 50 minute couples sessions to repair your connection.
Resources and home activities are included to assist you in the repair process.
Investment
Phase 1 $420
Phase 2 $775
Phase 3: $2360
Book a free call with Kelly to discuss your situation.
You have the option of booking just Phase 1 to assess our therapeutic match.
Phase 1: $420
Phase 2 and 3 per session:
50 min couples | $295
50 min individual | $250
Total costs:
Phase 1 $420
Phase 2 $775
Phase 3: $2360
A monthly payment plan can be arranged across therapy period.
Please note: Therapy occurs at different intervals across the 12 weeks. The monthly payment structure is a courtesy for those needing longer to pay but requires full commitment as a larger portion of the therapy is provided upfront. A small administration fee is charged for payment plans, it is built into the price automatically.
FAQ's
As an accredited therapist, I am not allowed to make claims in this regard at any time. It would be misleading. It’s what you might want to hear, but the truth is until we start, we don’t know what needs to happen or where the journey will go. This is the truth of all therapy.
What I can tell you is this, the process will take you where you need to go. If your desire is to stay together, we will do everything we can to support that process. If it emerges that the relationship needs to change, you will also be supported individually and together.
12 weeks is usually a starting point for infidelity depending on what has happened. It is structured as an immersion to support the repair process as effectively as possible. The first 12 weeks are a way to reduce pain, reconnect, stop negative cycles and form a plan of recovery. From here we decide the frequency of ongoing sessions if needed.
It is unlikely you will want to stop at 12 weeks. The journey to safety after infidelity takes time. Almost all couples feel really supported in ongoing check-ins for up to 12 months, so they continue to deepen their intimacy and have a safe place to go if triggers arise.
Kelly is based on the Sunshine Coast, with in person options available in Buderim and Noosa. Online options are available Australia-wide and internationally. 2-3 day immersions are also available for intensive therapy to stabilise the relationship, or move towards decision making. Different fee structures apply for multi-day immersions.
Yes. There is now published research outlining the effectiveness of online counselling.
Kelly has been offering online therapy to international and remote clients since 2008.
She has extensive online skills and is able to create a therapeutic environment exactly as you would experience in the room.
Many of her clients choose online options because it suits their lifestyle and location.
You can book by the hour if you need to. Kelly’s suggestion is that you allow enough commitment to see the process through. Infidelity therapy (especially in the acute phase) is intensive, with a 12 week program the most recommended form of starting therapy.
Yes. Kelly will do her best to accommodate your timing and work schedule in Australia. For international clients, Europeans usually have appointments in their morning, while American and similar regions usually fall in their afternoons and evenings. Please check your timezone against Brisbane, Australia.
Kelly has a Master of Counselling with additional post-graduate qualifications in sex, intimacy and relationship therapy. She has worked with clients in a health capacity for over 20 years with time as a respected university lecturer in health sciences. You can read more about Kelly on the About page if you’d like more information.
After 25 years and probably 20,000 hours, the truth is – I’ve learned to do what works for the person. Not everything we learn as a therapist comes from a model or a system.
However, I am most aligned with and use skills from Somatic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Movement, Embodiment Therapy, and from time to time, I look to the Gottman Method for evidence-based information.
I use my health science background to bring in nervous system education and the broader way relational stress manifests in the body.
Philosophically, my approach is heavily influenced by the teachings and subsequent realisations of the essence of nonduality. Aspects of my embodiment and somatic movement work have been shaped by education and mentoring from Michaela Boehm and Steve James.
Medicare rebates can only be provided by certain Psychologists working inside that model of health. Couples therapy is not covered by Medicare for any practitioners regardless of their qualifications. You may be able to receive a rebate from your private health fund for counselling. Please check with them before enrolling if you plan to use this option, it is not something Kelly has control over. Kelly has registration with BUPA if you have the appropriate level of coverage. Please check with them first.